Aku? Puas?

Mereka bilang aku keras, maka lembutkanlah aku.
Kalau saja mereka tahu di sudut itu aku harus berontak.
Baiklah, sekalian saja aku wujudkan kata mereka, karena mereka tak pernah tahu.
Hai, maaf, kamu bodoh. Pergi saja.
Dan kamu, perfectionistmu membuatku ingin muntah, enyah.
Buat kamu, oh no! Kemana saja kamu, tidak mengerti hal semudah ini.
Kamu, sadarlah. Terlalu banyak bicara, sangat membosankan.
Siapa? Dia? Bercerminlah, kamu tidak bisa memanjakan.
Aku keras, puas??

26 Okto 11 03.54 PM

Yakini, Dia sayang

Allah mencintaimu,
Itulah mengapa Dia membuatnya pergi jauh darimu,
Karena Allah tahu dia mudah berpaling, jauh dari setia.

Allah mencintaimu,
Itulah mengapa Dia memintamu untuk pergi jauh darinya,
Karena Allah tahu dia sedang mempermainkan hatimu.

Allah mencintaimu,
Itulah mengapa Dia memintamu kembali,
Karena Allah tahu dia tidak bisa apa, selain membuatmu menangis.

Allah mencintaimu,
Kamu bukan tulang rusuknya yang hilang, seharusnya kamu syukuri,
Karena Allah sedang menunjukan cintaNya padamu.

Allah mencintaimu,
Kamu bukan pelengkap hidupnya, seharusnya kamu syukuri itu,
Karena Allah tahu kesetiaanmu tidak untuk dia miliki,
Karena Allah tahu dia tidak bisa menghargai perempuan.
Ah, awalnya sedih memang.
Tapi yakini,
Allah sedang menjagamu.

26 Okto 11 03.53 PM

are we sister?

Setahuku kamu perempuan baik, menolong semua yang butuh pertolonganmu.
Sepengetahuanku kamu perempuan dewasa, menyikapi setiap masalah dengan cara yang mereka lihat bijak. Sepengenalanku kamu menjadi inspirasi semua, memberi semangat untuk tetap maju.
Baru saja kubaca surat terakhirmu. Kamu bilang kita saudara, kita layaknya adik kakak.
Aku rasa juga begitu, tidak ada yang kututupi karena you are my sister,
And you do say the same that I am your little sister.
Everybody knows it.
We are sister.

A big sister should know her little sister’s feeling.
A big sister will not hurt her little sister’s heart.
A big sister will not let her little sister cry along night.
A big sister will consider many things to decide anything that relate with her little sister.
Sister will never hide anything from her sister.
I do believe you know what I feel.
I do believe you realize about what I feel.
I do believe you can read my attitude.
I do believe you know my heart, Because I never hide anything from you; because we are sister; because I do believe in you.
We passed years with wonderful story, together.
I take care of you and you do the same.
We take care of each other.
But now, hard to believe that you take my dream away; you burn it out; you make me cry.
But now, you act like you know nothing about me; you do it like you never know me; you decided it like we don’t have any story.
I can’t believe you decide it.
I do remember all of your promises to me but you betray all.
You are not my sister anymore.
I never thought to frazzle our picture; you and me.
I never thought to burn anything from you.
I never thought that I would say ‘you are not my sister anymore’ because I do believe in you before; because we are sister.
Don’t say to God that you are weak; I am much more weak than you when you hide it.
People said you are an angel and I was so proud become your little sister but now, go away!
I will burn our story into pieces and let wind blow it.

26 Okto 11 03.47 PM

God, they are killing me.

It's like they are killing me at the back.
I lost my biggest dream.
I do mention his name in every worship I do completely, but where is God? I try to follow each God's rules, but what He gives to me! I do what He asks, but God put me down again. I am weak, if God knows everything He must be know that I am weak for this. Why does He send me damn man like him? Why does God allows me to have a sister like her?
God, I do big apologize. I am too weak. God, I feel nothing now.

19 Okto 11 08.42 AM